Best Camps in Film

The Stage:

Sherwood Forest, Swiss Family Robinson's canopy palace, Ferngully, Neverland's Lost Boy treehouse, and other "camps" are seared into our collective memories of what it was like to be a child driven by aspirations for life in perpetual makeshift. There, in these camps, we'd take pride in and nap beneath our bamboo wind-chimes. Leaving home for an early morning hunt would require rope swinging from our cabin in a well-concealed sycamore branch. We'd scamper through trees to a friend's house on canopy walkways. There'd be nervous moments hiding in camouflaged cellars awaiting ruthless tax collectors. Life would be basic, organic, and exciting.

These orchestrated, need-based earthy existences would substantiate our thousands of hours of longing for endless days in the forts of our youth--an amateur archeologist working behind Johnny's house could easily unearth the foundations of some of these forts. One could gather and chart piecemeal relics of mud-ball fights to tell a grand story of our epic battles. 

(We're sad to report that the 'wood's' behind Johnny's house and Ryan's house have both been razed for bland condo complexes. If only those now residing there, watching Survivor and Dancing With The Stars, knew how impressive the land beneath their drywall was. It's a land laden with heroic tales of treachery, life-altering loss, and grass-stained solidarity. If they knew, maybe they'd flip off the television and pick up their high school copy of Huck Finn.) 

In these dwellings oozing with 'place', Mom calling us home for supper would never mean returning from paradise, it would necessitate staying. We'd kill animals for sustenance and challenge each other to stick fights atop waterfalls. Pirates would always be roaming. Though they may claim a few of our comrades we'd always come away the victors. To honor our fallen we'd play Amazing Grace on the bagpipes at outdoor funerals. Mass would be read in latin by our drinking-priest. These solemn nights would end in food fights and excessive imbibing around campfires. Deadline-less gatherings for sacraments would be the norm. 

In these utopias there are no front doors to leave open. There is no need to wipe your feet and no need to 'clean-up'. There are no corporate headquarters, no copy rooms, no quarterly earnings, no faculty meetings, no electronic mail, no stale office coffee--only boundless wilderness and days spent reminiscing on or preparing for battle. 

These are the hopes and dreams of generations of 'lost boys and girls'--those of us with wildness in our hearts and suburbia in our midst. We've noticed this about ourselves and felt compelled to rank the best camps in cinema history. Those that elicit the most intense desire of "wanting-to-belong-to" are those that rise to the top of the list. As there are a multitude of camps in cinema history it becomes necessary to lay ground rules. We must answer some central questions. 

 

What is a camp and what is not a camp? Is a lair a camp? Is a fort a camp? How long must one reside in a location before that place becomes the camp? 

The Parameters: 

There are a whole slew of elements that determine a camp's place on this list. Set out here are characteristics that emerge in all or most of the camps we've listed. There are other things to consider, no doubt. But these seem to be at the forefront of any listing of the great camps of film. Notably we do not discriminate on a camp's raison d'etre. We are egalitarian in our hashing out of what makes and resembles a 'good' camp. Those camps that house 'bad guys' have a place here.

In no particular order:

a) There must be an enemy, preferably pirates.

b) You must intend to stay though you may have originally not intended to do so.

c) Out-of-doors trumps in-doors.

d) Living off the land trumps smuggling.

e) Being forced to retreat to the fringes because of a ruthless tyrant trumps doing what generations before you have done.

f) In the case of Native tribes--though to them it is simply living how they always live, for our sake, we deem their abodes as camps, as they are not suburban streets--there was no urban planning.

g) Likelihood of lasting

h) Amount of ingenuity

i) Amount of creativity

j) Amount of usefullness

k) Amount of resourcefullness

l) Amount of resolve that went into crafting

m) Overall aesthetics

n) Deftness in the crafting of weaponry (preferably handmade)

o) Quality of barriers to entry

p) Placement and amiable-ness of guards or watchmen (undoubtedly, one should place the 'comedian' on watch so   as to create a sense of angst amongst comic relief). 

q) Amount and use of tree cover

r) Bonus points awarded for the following: women and men working alongside each other, the presence of dogs and pets, unique or homemade alcohol. 

The List:

We've found it best to group in tiers as it's nearly impossible for one to assert that Robin Hood's camp is better than the Lost Boy's camp--they are different yet deserve a spot on a similar level. Also, one should not take being 'C-Listed' as a knock. After all, this is a list of the best in film history. Being notched in a third tier is hardly insulting. To make this list is to be given the highest honor. 

A-List:

Swiss Family Robinson - The Canopy Palace

The impetus for this list. The world would be a better place if we were all permitted the opportunity to circle around Mrs. Robinson and sing Christmas carols after a hard days work prepping for an imminent battle with pirates. No film has fostered such strong desires to be adopted as this one. We'll forever consider ourselves surrogate children of the sturdy, tried and true Robinson's. 

Robin Hood Prince of Thieves - Sherwood Forest

Arguably the greatest camp the world has ever seen. No person in their right mind has watched this film without wanting to be amongst the most noble and rustic camp builders this side of the Thames River. Our deepest thanks go out to all that made this film possible--you've realized dreams.

Neverland - Lost Boys Treehouse

Childhood was not complete until the film Hook was released. Millions of Lost Boys have since chanted, "Roofio, Roofio, Roofio, Roof--I--oooooo!"

B-List:

Ferngully - Deep in Paradise

Laying the groundwork for an environmental sentiment in this generation of urban greens, Ferngully took us to an oasis and rightfully challenged our oasis with pirates that we can relate to--condo/stripmall land developers. One could argue that those of us compiling this list recycle and compost only to assuage our discomfort first realized in the gelatinous pirate, aptly named, Hexxus.

Red Dawn - Avenging Under Swayze's Wing

In all our youthful exuberance, we secretly long for communists to invade again. RIP Swayze. "Turn it into something else!"

Dances With Wolves - Costner's Getaway

Notably Kevin Costner makes his second appearance on this list (not his last). He's still out on the prairie having relations with hybrid natives as far as we're concerned. 

I Am Legend - A Single Man 

Will Smith makes an unlikely appearance here. Regardless, his homemaking skills in the face of gnarly amounts of adversity get him a well deserved nod and spot on the B-List. 

Castaway - A Lonely Man

What's a film list without Tom Hanks? Angst and patience are two things that undergird any solid camp. Heaping doses of each abound in this underrated camp-based film. We're still proud of him for getting off that island but we recognize how hard it must have been to give up all that he had built. We'd gladly spend a few years marooned on that island. 

Defiance - A Real Life Sherwood

"No way! Really?" That's us after seeing Defiance. "It's actually possible in this world that we inhabit to have to truly retreat into the wilderness and fend of bad guys? Maybe we should re-think how much we like this idea of living in camps while people try to kill us. It seems scary and hard."

Alone In The Wilderness - The Best One Man Camp

Mad respect given for Dick Prennoeke and his carpentry skills as well as his resolve. The dude lived in the Alaskan wilderness year-round for a few decades. Watching Dick carve our his niche, literally and figuratively, is shockingly sexy, in some ways.

Ninja Turtles - Ritzin' The Sewers

Though this film has lost some traction as we've grown older it's still worth mentioning how much of an impact these walking and talking turtles had on our life. Their camp might have something to do with April. Not sure how these things are related other than to list the following words together: camp - ninjas - the foot clan - pretty women.

Terminator 2 - Respite From Machines

Others on this list are here for their ability to foment true respite in the viewer. Terminator movies are so full of anxiety that we all need a little place to call home while watching. 

Waterworld - Costner Getting Things Done

The deft with which Costner makes his way through camps is both astounding and jealousy inducing. In Sherwood Forest and Waterworld alike, he's forced, at some point, to escape 'pirates'. Because he has that innate ability to know his camp surroundings, his escape is imminent but no less thrilling. The scene when he's swinging from walkways and stairs onto his ship is locked away in our collective memories forever. (Note to selves: when pirates arrive, have a plan set out for escape.)

Thin Red Line - Apocalypto - The New World - The Last Samurai

Now, here's the thing; these films all feature natives living in their natural habitat. In no way were they retreating from anything whatsoever. They simply were living as they knew how to live. However, in our case, their natural habitat has to be placed on a pedestal as any camp constructed post-colonialism is essentially a throw back to how the natives lived for centuries. These native camps are both the matron and patron saint of modern day camp making. 

The Last of the Mohicans

This camp is only assumed as we're never permitted to view Long Rifle's base-camp. It is rumored that the camp is too awesome to show in the film. The producers decided that the camp would take away from James Fenimore-Cooper's brilliant story.

C-List:

Troy - Beachfront Property

One must assume that when Hector's father sneaks his way into Achilles' camp that he considered bowing to the Greeks' exceptionalism. They crafted quite a makeshift homestead. Life behind the walls of Troy looks stale and boring compared to life on the beach, sipping wine and licking wounds from battle.

Zion: The Matrix - The Last Stand

The Wachowski brothers took a lot of flack from the Christian right for their portrayal of Zion in the Matrix. Indeed, the orgy, dance party scene was a bit unnerving. Nonetheless, what would you do if you found yourself in one of the cooler underground lair's film has ever seen and machines were trying to dismiss your right to life? There should always be plenty of opportunities to dance in a good camp.

Braveheart - An Amalgamation

As the Scots made their way along the England-Scotland border they found themselves constructing small, manageable camps. Though there is not one camp that stands out one has to admit that sitting around a fire stirring soup with William Wallace--trees and comrades abounding--would be pretty decent. 

Bain's Lair - Waiting for the Right Moment

The most recent installment of righteous camping. Bain deserves a spot despite his sordid political views. It was obvious that ample amounts of time and elbow grease went into preparing a home-base before the insurrection.

Avatar - Ferngully Spiced-Up

It's become a cliche to note the similarities between Avatar and Ferngully. As it is, there are similarities. Thus, Avatar gets a spot on the C-List. The only deterrent is that humans can't breath there. 

Helm's Deep - Centuries of Homemaking

One gets the sense that middle earth has forever been and will forever be. Helm's Deep gets mad street cred for it's ability to deter the nastiest version of pirates the world has ever known - orks. It's purported that HD, to this day, has loosened its immigration policy and is still taking the undefended. 

Patriot - Doin' What A Man's Got To Do

There should always be an opportunity to tell your boys, "You know where to meet me." There's quite a bit of pain in The Patriot and that's probably what keeps their camp in the swamp from being on the B-List. Too much heartache can make a camp a little less appealing. One doesn't want to have to confront personal demons from the past too often. Sometimes it's necessary but just not too much of it. 

Final Words:

At the end of the day we recognize that this list might not be comprehensive. However, the aforementioned best camps in film have been the recipients of thousands of moments of dedicated drooling, fist pumping, and tears on our part. One could say that this list is only an effort to pay homage to ourselves. The one saying as much would be slighting those that had the financial and creative means to make these films and realize the dreams of so many, like us, pounding the pavement in the real world. We may not be frontiersmen (or frontierswomen) today, but who knows, tomorrow may bring foreign invasion and those haters will be the ones knocking on the covert doors of our professionally constructed camps, seeking refuge in our expertise at life in perpetual makeshift. 

Looper

A blunderbuss is a sawed-off shotgun owned by Loopers, hit men in 2044. It has little to no range and is used only to blow a massive hole in the chest of a confounded enemy of a crime syndicate from the future. The crime syndicate is run by a telekinetic, mommy-issues son-of-a-bitch deemed The Rainmaker. Time travel was discovered around this time and immediately made illegal. The Rainmaker doesn't care apparently and uses time travel to dispose of his enemies. The Rainmaker sent Jeff Daniels back from 2074 to 2044 to run the underground Looping scene of a Kansas City that resembles Gotham. Joseph Gordon-Levit works for Bridges. JGL is paid well for disposing of The Rainmaker's disposables. He is faxed a a time, drives to a field outside the city, sets a tarp on the ground and waits for the trash to appear out of thin air, blunderbusses the victim, who is hooded and carries JGL's cash, blocks of silver. All is well for a bit.

We learn that The Rainmaker, in 2074 is closing loops. This means that he's sending back the aged looper's themselves to be killed by themselves. This is called being 'looped'. Rainmaker attaches gold instead of silver to the soon-to-be blunderbussed loopers. They kill their future selves, live for thirty more years and then--are sent back to be killed by themselves again? Herein lies the hook. Time travel doesn't make sense.

Rian Johnson made a kick ass movie called Brick with JGL a few years back. He also made The Brother's Bloom. These are cool movies and like some of his counterparts--Nicolas Refn--Rian is all about cool. You can't have a cool movie if characters are blabbering on about metaphysics and Wittgenstein. Making good movies hinges on a writer/director's dedication to set parameters. Rian, here, sticks to his blunderbusses and sets his aim on us, most resoundingly, in a diner scene that rivals any other epic diner scene.

Bruce Willis play older JGL. Their name is Joe. Young Joe is sensing that he is about to be looped--about to kill his older self. The fact that he senses that his time is up leads us to believe that shit ain't going to go well. Joe has that sixth sense that makes him into a main character. He's got that grit. Old Joe isn't ready to be looped either. Old Joe has found love. This is Rian riffing on the human condition amongst a good amount of chaos. It's handled well enough inasmuch as I found myself nodding, "Yeah, I get that. He's got to go back but he's not going to go back quietly. He loves that woman enough to disrupt all of the future and the past. Time travel and love. Ok. Got it." Old Joe appears on young Joe's tarp in a field. They both stall. Old Joe avoids being blunderbussed and young Joe gets knocked unconscious.

They catch up with each other in the diner where they always (used to always) take down some steak and eggs after a kill. Imagine, you're in a diner with yourself thirty years from now. An Ivy League educated director would keep us here for a few hours. Rian disposes of the ridiculousness with a few blunderbussed lines and we learn that old Joe is going to kill The Rainmaker before The Rainmaker experiences an off putting childhood, complete with watching his mother die. Young Joe has to kill old Joe or else he'll only be living old Joe's life and not a life of his own--destiny and free will type stuff. Young Joe finds The Rainmaker first, posts up next to Emily Blunt, The Rainmaker's mom. Old Joe lingers getting to the farm where Rainmaker and Blunt live. He lingers long enough to allow Blunt and JGL to 'come together'. The rest is not predictable and worth paying to see. Believe it or not, I've revealed very little if anything about the movie. But there was something lacking.

There was space in this movie for real guts. In the end, it came off as a tame. Rian never really filled that space. Channing Tatum could have made an appearance without much going awry. It was light enough that a choreographed dance scene is already in the works for the Bollywood re-make. Rian Johnson has written and directed a pretty incredible movie but it lacked the grit to make me cringe, or feel much of anything for that matter. I feel that the 'cool' might have supplanted the grime. And that's ok if that's what you're going for. I just needed some real tragedy to take me full tilt.

Argo

A story too good (for Hollywood) to be true gets Afflecked

Argo is a movie about the rescuing of six hostages from an Iran that seemed really scary. The story is a real one in that it's true that there were six U.S. government employees hiding out in the Canadian Ambassador's Tehran home after the embassy was seized by rebels. It is also true that the CIA hatched a plan to extract the six that called for them to pose as movie makers from Hollywood. Furthermore, it's true that the Hollywood plan--Argo--worked. The public didn't know about the heist until Clinton used his POTUS letter opener to unseal the story--he thought Iran was less scary in the 90s. Ben Aflleck took the helm on this one. He also stared in it. Therefore, Argo is a movie about the rescuing of six hostages from an Iran that seemed really scary, but it's ultimately a movie about a story that has been "Afflecked" (to be pronounced in a loud, obnoxious Donald Duck voice ala Aflac commercials).

Ah-flek-t -
v. 1.) The means by which an event or narrative is infused with many moments of seriousness and emotive focusing and/or elaborating on the state of things.
v. 2.) To hijack a script/story for one's personal gain.
v. 3.) To stamp a film or script with the approval of Ben Affleck.
adj. 4) With an aura of sweeping earth shatter

When a story gets Afflecked a few things are going to happen. In the first place, Affleck, himself, has to be on the screen as much as possible. Nothing is truly Afflecked unless the experience of the recently Afflecked narrative hinges on several moments of Ben getting really serious. There will be a moment, undoubtedly, wherein, as a viewer, you need Ben to get the other characters over the hump and engaged with the rising or falling action. This is accomplished by Ben getting down to brass taxes. In this moment, Ben will turn off the charm, he'll forget about how tired he is, how down and out the prospects look. He'll pause, breath deeply, focus like a Zen master, and deliver a seamless summary of the options, no sugar coating. For instance:

Good Will Hunting -

The Town - "We lost our dog the year before and uh...I wanted to make these posters, in case my mother was lost someone could call us. Like the guy who found our dog. To this day my father will tell you he helped me make the posters, but he didn't. Sat in the kitchen drank a case of beer while I went up by myself on school street asking people if they'd seen my mother. Her name was Dorris. My grandmother had a place, it's a restaurant, 'Tangerine  Flower', so I used to imagine maybe that's where she went. Then I came to terms with the fact that it doesn't really matter. You know, where ever she went she had good reason to leave here. She didn't wanna be my mother anymore and she...she wasn't coming back. And now you know a little bit about my family, but I'm still not showing you my apartment."

Boiler Room:

Armageddon:

The Town (OK, just one more):

Pearl Harbor: "Loving you kept me alive."

The Company Men:

Chasing Amy:

As you can see when things are Afflecked they become so less 'bro' and all the more human. The condition that is a human one comes racing to the forefront and all that has been boilling up, with the help of an Afflecked dose of bravery and gall, billows over the top and we're left with an incredulous Ben staring into our soul. He's just so damn honest!

Argo is a really great movie. Thankfully, to be Afflecked no longer equates to rom-com level melo-drama. This movie is professional and hopeful. Undoubtedly Ben wrote in his moments but they're tame and necessary for the plot (unlike The Town). Take it as a feel good Hollywood ending without unnecessary Hollywood angst. Do your best to forget about all the aforementioned moments of movies being Afflecked and focus on the story as a fun, socio-political movie about a time when things were annoyingly serious. No doubt this was a rather horrific experience for many but for us it's a nice little Saturday. That's how Hollywood and Affleck would have it, right?

Screenshot Review - Campaign

Screenshot Reviews - Dark Knight Rises and Contagion

Savages - Luke McKay

Savages is Black Hawk Down meets Blue Crush, with the occasional scene made awesome as shit by the presence of Benicio Del Toro’s glorious hair/acting.  The three main characters are so boring.  I despise their stupid privileged lives, especially Ophelia’s.  There is nothing remotely worthwhile about Blake Lively’s character except, some may argue, her extremely un-unique rich ass surfer girl hotness.  Her character is a prop.  Her only purpose is being the object of desire tossed back and forth between California and Mexico.  As far as I can tell she’s desired only because she’s hot.  But she would be way hotter if she like, I don’t know, had a sense of humor or played the harpsichord but wasn’t very good at it but kept insisting on playing songs she’d just written or something.  Why can’t she be something real and new?  Ben and Chon are the main(er) characters, and the ones who have a supposedly functional love triangle thing going on with Ophelia, and they suck too.  Basically all three characters are plastic action figures freshly plucked from the still warm recesses of their factory molds.  They’re not even painted yet.  There is nothing distinguishable about them for fear of flitting too close to the edge of what is acceptable within pop culture’s strict calipers.  The plot was very entertaining, but the movie is all plot and no character.  I guess that does it for some people.  Lado, played by Del Toro, is one redeeming component of the movie.  But it’s rare (impossible?) for Benicio Del Toro not to be awesome.  I have a feeling his part wasn’t written as awesome as he made it.  Also, my friend Tedd pointed out a highly allusive scene in which Lado sniffs cocaine off of the tip of a bowie knife, as perhaps a self-given good game butt pat to Del Toro’s character in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  Out of 10, I give this movie a 5, because half of the time the movie was an 8 and the other half it was a 2.  As an afterthought I’d like to disclaim a bit of the above negativity by mentioning that the Navy Seal loving always camouflaged and jackknife smuggling little boy in me loved the urban warfare scenes, although he admits that good characters are still important.

Killer Joe - Nell Green

Killer Joe has to be one of the most unsettling cinema experiences I’ve had in a long time, Tine and I sat until the end credits had finished rolling in a surreal stupor and when we finally left the cinema we were both speechless (which is a rarity). I really had very little to say about this movie.  It’s taken me a week to scrape together some thoughts...

This film is extremely violent, deeply disturbing, relentless and at times very funny. Things are pretty messed up from the start – the premise is that kids Chris and Dottie (Emile Hirsch and Juno Temple), along with their father and step mum, agree to have their biological mother murdered by local cop/assassin ‘Killer Joe’ (Matthew McConaughey ) in order to claim the life insurance payout. Of course, things don’t pan out as planned and the inevitable downwards spiral of violence and desperation begins.  The audience is dragged into their miserable, fear-fuelled lives; increasingly uneasy about their prospects of making it we become enthralled in a tense race to the finish, repeatedly punctuated by ever more twisted acts of aggression, sex and intimidation.

All else aside, this film looks awesome on the big screen – it has a hint of Drive about it but less cool and more gritty. The performances are great, some are incredible - they are difficult parts to play and I was suitably impressed.  Despite the barely comprehensibly warped world and insane rollercoaster lives that these characters inhabit, mostly I was convinced by it and I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes a cult hit.  Their world is revealed to be consistently cruel and as the story unfolds you search in vain for the expected redeeming feature/s. Instead you are left reeling in shock – not only at what is happening but also the characters’ acceptance of it.  They are all fundamentally flawed and there is a devastating lack of empathy between them – even the protagonist, our ‘hero’ (if someone who decides to have his own mother assassinated can be considered a hero, but he is the closest thing we have and I found myself rooting for him), gets little support from his family when his life is in danger from the local heavies. In fact, it barely concerns them. Life is apparently less valuable than we were led to believe.

Now, I love a gritty genre movie as much as the next person, and I’m a sucker for the noir ‘look’. My problem is that I left the cinema unable to work out what the point was. I kept waiting for the payoff, the lesson to be learnt, the thing that justifies all this craziness. I’m still waiting. Maybe I’ve been conditioned to expect this and it’s an unreasonable criticism. I think the only thing I took away is that it reminds us humans can be fundamentally cruel, selfish and violent (but it tells us this very stylishly, so I guess that makes it OK). Sure, they all live in a pretty horrible world where it’s a struggle to survive – they’re painfully poor and lacking any opportunity to change that – but maybe they’d have a better chance if it would only stop raining for a minute, or the dog could quit barking long enough for someone to hear themselves think. Perhaps then they would bother to get dressed in the mornings instead of walking round their trailer half naked, literally.

OK fine, maybe I should get over it – there doesn’t need to be a point.  I suppose my main frustration is that the storyline is so extreme that the movie would have been more effective if it was toned down. By the end the characters are all revealed to be such nutbags that the last sequence is completely surreal. It didn’t shock me as much as it could because I didn’t quite believe it. 

So – I would recommend Killer Joe (although not to the faint hearted). It will probably make you very uncomfortable (there’s something wrong with you if it doesn’t), but there’s some merit in that, right? Failing that, go and see it for the great cinematography, awesome performances, intriguing lack of music and a whole new perspective on Matthew McConaughey. But definitely don’t go see it with your mum (or your mom).

I guess I did have something to say after all.

Safety Not Guaranteed

I'm starting to believe that there are two reasons or two ways to make a movie. One, the movie exists to tell a story not so much about people but a just a story. Two, the movie exists to teach us about people. A story is told and it's a story about people, in the general all encompassing way, that is to say, humans.

On one hand, I'm thinking that Titanic is a movie about a story. I'm willing to say that Ghost Writer, Haywire, and Avengers are all just stories that have people or persons as props or voices. On the other hand, Forest Gump, Lawrence of Arabia, There Will Be Blood, The Right Stuff (some of my favorites) are movies that obviously tell a story. They're great though because they teach about humans. It's that they share with us, they foster imagination and empathy. This designation is observed in how a plot is folded into the characters versus the characters folding into the plot. A writer or director seemingly makes a decision on behalf of the characters. Will the character's dialogue further the plot in the first place or will it further the emotional appeal of a character's plight. Maybe we could call this plot versus plight. This is about as far as I'm willing to take this designation at the moment because for now it's more of a feeling than it is a science. It's a hypothesis more than it is a law. Indeed, I love great movies that are just stories, so don't take this the wrong way. But I might be loving movies that are not just stories more than I love just stories. To call both of these versions of a movie, 'stories' might be inaccurate. I'm going to stop now cause you need to hear about Safety Not Guaranteed.

It starts with a personal ad in a newspaper from Ocean Beach, Washington, U.S.A. The poster is looking for a companion to time travel with. The poster has only done it once and he/she can't promise safety and he/she asks that the companion bring their own weapons. The wording of the ad and the jest of the journalist that pitches the idea of tracking down the foreseeable, W.O.W. enthusiast for a hopefully, humorous story leads us to believe that we're dealing with a poster that's going to be heart-warming. From the start I felt like I was watching Cool Runnings on a couch in my best friend's basement cause our Saturday little league game had been rained out. Things around me were pleasant and I settled in for a more adult, intellectual Cool Runnings experience. Aubrey Plaza and the Indian (could have been black) sidekick were emerging as more than just props in the early scenes and I was glad for that. Characters were the story as opposed to the story using some characters. Aubrey and the sidekick are interns for the abrasive, arrogant but affable journalist, Jeff (Jake Johnson). Jeff posed the story as something that could be funny but it also gave him an excuse to track down a high school hook-up. Off to Ocean Beach in Jeff's Escalade. Aubrey is staid and aloof. Sidekick is playing computer games. Jeff is hungover. Great start.

We then get to meet Kenneth (Mark Duplass). Duplass is the real deal. I'm told that he's jumping around Hollywood, meeting with and performing for and writing for and directing for big timerz. His character on The League does so well fulfilling a role in every group of guys raised on Sportscenter and internet pornography that it's eery. He steals the show on The League and does the same in Safety Not Guaranteed. He believes in time travel and believes in himself and I believe that Duplass was Kenneth. Back To The Future and a whole slew of other time travel movies have never encountered a better recipe for time travel - belief in it and belief in self. Science aside, I'll side with a character that believes like Kenneth does for making the unreal a reality. Isn't this what I'm talking about? Real people as opposed to semi-real character that just don't say much? Kenneth says something in this movie and the writers (Duplass and one of his buddies) deserve some recognition for pulling this off. "My calculations are flippin' pinpoint." I mean this movie had so many opportunities to completely wipe-out and fail miserably. Duplass and Kenneth, together, walked over the coals and quicksand with ease. Gosh, this movie is good.

So this is all I'm going to say because I want you to see this movie. Aubrey Plaza, Jake Johnson, Plummer, and Karan Soni (Indian sidekick), achieve Goonie-esque sportsmanship and team work and likeableness. With my ten year high school reunion on the horizon I'm urged to think about high school because of this movie. I mean how many movies have been inspired by our collective high school experiences? Be it the turmoil eccentric writers, directors, actors, and producers had to endure or be it their hilarious experiences or be it their tumultuous, tortuous experiences or be it the stories they (Kenneth) want to go back and re-write, there is something to all of this in Hollywood and plenty of all this in Safety Not Guaranteed. No doubt, you'll leave the theater with the same feeling I did when I'd leave my best friend's basement after a Saturday rain-out matinee. And, depending on how affirmed you felt in high school, you'll raise your fist as Jeff does in the last scene, a perfect scene.

Moonrise Kingdom - Luke McKay

James King killed this review (ie, good) so what I have to say is only a continuation.  This movie indeed shares multiple Wes-isms with other Wes flicks, including sets and characters that are fashionably coordinated, the hilarious and endearing resistance to believable special effects, severe quirkiness of characters and dialogue, and careful organization of small prop combinations.  I’m a big fan of King’s sentiments that MK could be just another disc to slip into Anderson’s box set.  Each of his films seems to exist within the same Anderverse and is simply separated from the next by geography or chronology, though not a difference of opinion about the world: the past is really fucking important and people make mistakes--lots of them.  One crucial missing element was Anderson’s knack for unforeshadowed and heart-wrenchingly tragic loss.

Screenshot Review - Prometheus

Prometheus

Ridley Scott's Prometheus is a film that has been nudged into new territories by the Alien Franchise, Greek Mythology, David Lean, and Science Fiction all at once. There is a lot of cash money flowing from this cohort and each wanted its due in the film. As a result, this film appropriated Titanic funds easily yet set itself at a sprinters pace, moving through alien insurrection, creation myths and neo-positivism as if the three intertwine seamlessly in our real world. If you're like me, you'll spend most of the movie thinking about how great that last scene was and then freaking out and getting anxious cause you're not paying attention to the scene at hand, all worried that you're going to miss something life changing.

This started for me in the first few moments of the film (take a deep breath now) as a ripped, pale white humanoid ingests a cough syrup stolen from the set of The Mummy, turns to ashes on top of that famous Iceland waterfall, tumbles into the water while the camera super zooms to the molecular level where we see humanoid DNA strands performing reverse transcription, 3 prime to 5 prime, while a hovering spacecraft departs into warp speed in the horizon. Don't think I forgot David Lean, cause a few moments later, 'David' a robot from late 21st century, embodied by Fassbender, combs his hair like Lawrence of Arabia (a pyro) and rehearses quotes from the movie of the same title as he eavesdrops on the dreams of the passengers on Prometheus (a titan tortured for stealing fire from the gods and giving it to his creation, humans), the ship, who are in an induced two-year sleep while traveling to a distant moon, L-223, thought to be the landing point for creatures that 'Engineered' sentient and non-sentient life (exhale now). By the time I realized how much I was enjoying the Lawrence of Arabia shout-outs (third on my top 100) I was in the process of missing shout-outs to the original Alien flick. It was just too much too fast. But I think this movie was great, especially the more I think about it and the new ground it might be laying.

There is everything you could ask for in a science fiction movie directed by Ridley Scott. The associated questions with a movie titled 'Prometheus' are dealt with respectfully and creatively. "Where did life come from? Why was it created?" The acting is top notch. The sense of fight or flight dictates all the action as characters fly when you wish they'd fight and fight when you wish they'd fly. The future is infused with humanity as we know it and heaping doses of, "Whoa, that machine that performs surgery sans-physician is cool." I don't know what it is though, and maybe this is a question that deserves its own HOM post/conversation, but have all of Ridley Scott's movies been, I don't know, less than Blade Runner? I'm thinking maybe or most likely. I'm just not sure this movie was really great, though, I'll say it again, I think it was great, especially the more I think about it. Most of all, though, this movie reminded me that there wouldn't have been Blade Runner without it's predecessor, Alien.

Movie Night With The Kohrs'

Drive, the Dissenting Opinion - Rob Culpepper

Everyone I've talked to Drive about thinks I'm nuts. I suspect the women really just love Gosling (or the idea that if they were in a room with him they'd have a chance; not likely). I suspect the men really just want to be Gosling. Hop in, do cool stuff, hop out, don't get hurt. I get it, he's a solid actor with good looks and the right amount of weirdness to let us know that he's an artist.

But seriously, everybody loved this movie. Everybody. The critics were crazy about it because it gave them a chance to refer to movies we all should have seen except that we have jobs and families and lives apart from the movies (alas). Google reviews of Drive and in every single one you'll find some reference to Godard or Eastwood, or both, and about a dozen references to obscure films from the French New Wave, 60s Italian Cinema, and 70s American Cinema.

Here are the parts I liked: Driver's jacket, Driver's car, the cinematography (which, in my opinion holds the film together), the silences, the long driving sequences, the 80s influence, and the SHOCK of the first violence. You know, the film runs a lot like Elliott Smith's Either/Or record. Give it a listen from start to finish and tell me if I'm not right about when the second chorus of Cupid's Trick hits. That's the elevator scene.

I also like the actors and the acting. I think it was superb. They really explored the unspoken nature of their relationship (Hitchcock once said he was afraid that movies with sound would just show people talking). Drive did a good job of showing us how Driver felt in the moment; Irene,too. I think the actors made the relationship work in their subtle gestures and expressions.

But the characters were poorly drawn, and even with the incredible nuance of the actors, we still don't understand their motivations. This is a script issue. Where does Driver come from? What changes in his world to make him want to attach to someone? Why does he attach to the boy? What draws him to this hopeless situation among others? Where does the nature of Driver's interest in Irene come from? Should we go fully feminist theory and ask if he's blowing off steam because he's sexually impotent? Do we know enough to raise that question? Or more simply, how did he get so good at driving, or why? What does it mean when the garage owner says "he's the best I've ever seen"? Compared to what? And why do the thugs who want to invest in Driver as a racer happen to be the same thugs he coincidentally tangles with shortly after they meet? Did we run out of time to introduce new characters, so we stick to the ones we already know? Perhaps none of these is the right question, but they point to existence.

Godard once said that Breathless was about a man who only thinks about death and a woman who never thinks about death.

And that's the difference between Drive and the movies it wants to be. It's simple, but strangely significant.

Movie Night With The Tepe's

Moonrise Kingdom - James King

An Interview with the Characters

Sponsored by Broadway BBQ & Club 280

Youngsters pointing their Astrola reflecting telescopes at the Birmingham sky last night might have noticed the absence of those glittering, glowing orbs we call stars.  Save that boring rock called Moon or the occasional bit of floating cosmic dust, the night sky would’ve been a big blank. The reason, of course, being that the stars had truly fallen right here in Birmingham, Alabama, lending their glow to the Oak Mountain State Park Amphitheatre’s premier of the critically-acclaimed/publicly- adored Moonrise Kingdom. 

Later than night, when the hum of the reel stopped and the film’s spell was broken, hoots, hollers, and applause roared the audiences approval.  Chaos at the Club 280 Pavilion, as the characters signed autographs, lost bits of costumes to overzealous fans, and linked hands to finally overcome the crowd and enter single-file into the press tent.

Due to the impending storm, all of the interviewers, including myself, deferred to the famous local meteorologist, James Spann, for the first question:

James Spann:  My sleeves are rolled up.  The storm is coming.  Social Services, have you kept everyone away from tall, isolated trees, open fields, the tops of ridges, water, metal objects, and tents, which would offer no protection from lightening?

Social Services:  “Where’s the boy?  I’m told that he’s just been struck by lightening?”

Scout Master Ward:  “It’s true.”

HOM [bumping Mr. Spann out of the way]:  Hi there!  James with http://hashingoutmovies.blogspot.com/.  Our readership loves your work and no doubt will find Moonrise Kingdom a great achievement.  But I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve met each of you before.   
For instance, you, [pointing] young, psychotic scout on the motorbike, look a lot like Mr. Eli Cash.  Also Sam seems to inhabit the body and soul of the precocious love-struck youth from Rushmore, while Bill Murray plays the sad dignified, time-worn Bill Murray character that we’ve come to expect, and look forward to, in a Wes Anderson film.  Should these films be appreciated as a multi-volume collective work rather than as any one individual movie. Care to comment, sympathetic authority figure, Scout Master Ward? 

Scout Master Ward:  “This is the best-pitched camp that I’ve ever seen.”

HOM: Hmm.  Thank you Scout Master Ward.  Club 280 does do a good job with their pavilion, but did you not understand the question?  

Sam: “Dear Suzy, walk four hundred yards due north from your house to the dirt path which has not got any name on it. Turn right and follow to the end. I will meet you in the meadow.” 

HOM:  Wo there!  No need for name-calling. I’m not looking for a fight!

"Royal: “Well, sweetie, don't be mad at me. That's just one man's opinion. 

[Margot gets up and gathers her presents just as Ethel comes in with the birthday cake and everyone starts singing Happy Birthday, which trails off as she leaves the room. Ethel glares at Royal]” 

I left the pavilion confused and in a huff.  I could still hear the inexplicable birthday party in the distance, as I began to transcribe these events for the HOM readership.  As my fingers banged away on the typewriter, however, I began to realize that I shouldn’t be offended or threatened by these strange events.  Those weren’t just random fictional beings saying weird things out of context in order to hurt me, rather they were a community—the brothers on a train to Darjeeling, the Tennenbaum family at Royal’s grave, the island community risking their necks to save an orphan scout— who were simply answering a question that I was too dull to ask: How do you bring together what dysfunction, confusion, and hurt pull apart?

A Touch of Greatness - Joel Scott Davis

“And this our life, exempt from public haunt,

Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, Sermons in stones, and good in everything.”

–William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 1

One of the more frequently discussed films to have previously graced the pages of this blog (according to HOM’s power rankings, it’s currently in a three-way tie with Melancholia and Hunger Games for the coveted title of HOM’s most-blogged-about film) is Spike Jonze’s cinematic reimagining of the classic children’s book Where the Wild Things Are. The plot is a familiar one: a young boy flees from the traumas of reality, seeking refuge and free reign among the benign beasts that inhabit his imagination. Themes of youthful innocence, curiosity, rebellion, camaraderie, and uninhibited creativity combine into a poignant ode to that which is irrevocably lost and left behind in the inevitable process of growing up.

In the 2004 documentary A Touch of Greatness, we are witness to a true story in which the yawning chasm between childhood innocence and grown-up experience has been bridged in an extraordinary way. Surprisingly, the setting for the film is not the innermost realms of a child’s imagination; rather, our story unfolds in the seemingly ordinary confines of a public elementary school classroom in Rye, New York. Within this liminal space, for a brief season spanning the 1950s and early 1960s, a group of young school children were fortunate enough to encounter and engage with Shakespeare, Lincoln, and Sophocles in an unconventional manner: rather than exchanging their youthful dreams for a life-dulling, mind-numbing mediocrity and cookie-cutter conformity, these students instead become the recipients of an education that connects the fantastic with the factual, the poetic with the prosaic, the beautiful with the mundane. But how, you might ask, is such a reversal of the oft-watered-down public school experience possible? Who was responsible for creating such an unexpected spark in such an ordinary environment?

Meet Mr. Albert Cullum, a real-life hero whose highly idiosyncratic approach to elementary ed. blessed the minds, talents, and imaginations of each student who came through his classroom. For those pessimists who continually perpetuate the stereotypical view that “Those who can’t do, teach,” Mr. Cullum initially appears to be yet another stereotypical statistic: as a failed actor, he once made a fateful decision while walking along NYC’s fabled 42^nd street to find another place where he could go to become a star. To his credit, however, his decision took on infinitely greater significance when he vowed that he would instead go some place where he could make everyone else around him a star. Such altruism was the lifeblood of his pedagogy, and his unorthodox, life-changing methods of opening young minds comprise the heart and soul of this touching documentary film. 

With his dramatic flair, slightly mischievous attitude, and a dash of whimsy, Mr. Cullum embodies the Teacher we all long for, but all-too-rarely encounter: he is the real-life, actualized potential of the ideal seen in Dead Poets Society, The Emperor’s Club, [insert inspirational educational film reference here]. Unlike these cherished movies and screenplays, however, the story of Mr. Cullum is real. His students exist as real people with real lives and stories of their own; in light of this, the highlight of this movie, for my money, occurs during the final 5 minutes, when we get the proverbial “Where are they now?” montage, and Mr. Cullum’s lasting influence on future generations comes into full display. (For the record, this film’s closing sequence, with its stirring Penguin Café Orchestra musical accompaniment, ranks right up there with the memorable dénouements of That Thing You Do!, Napoleon Dynamite, The Royal Tenenbaums, and any season finale from The Wonder Years). 

In the end, most of Mr. Cullum’s former students may not have gone on to become elder statesmen/women, A-list celebrities, high-paid athletes, Met opera stars, or award-winning persons of letters; nevertheless, they have each gone on to live lives of meaning and influence in their own respective corners of Anywhere, America, and you can tell that Mr. Cullum taught them an all-important lesson in contemporary culture: to search for that beauty and truth hiding between the covers of a book, or encoded within a mathematical formula, or buried deep inside a historical narrative, and to go forth and share these treasured findings with others. As Mr. Cullum so eloquently reminds us, “Learning’s not painful; learning should be joyful.” Amen, and amen.

Anti-War Movies - Jiro, Baseball, Restrepo

John Lenon and Yoko Ono making Bed Peace. The
documentary in which this protest is featured is memorable.
Also, "All we're saying, is give peace a chance" will get
stuck in your head for days. I suppose there are worse
tunes to be hummin'. 

Jiro Dreams of Sushi is a tightly wound, buttoned-up documentary about a man named Jiro and his pursuit of perfect sushi. Roy Tin Cup McAvoy would counsel as EU politicians amidst austerity measures might-- "perfection is unattainable." It's also a war movie. Baseball, the longwinded, robust documentary from Ken Burns is divided into 11 parts (innings). I'm both embarrassed and thrilled by how much time I've spent watching this documentary and loving Garrison Keillor narration. Most of the 25 hours hinge on war, as does baseball. Restrepo was filmed in "the most dangerous place in the world," Afghanistan. It follows a group of Marines into this place--nothing else though, just war.

New French President, Francoise Hollande, representing
the Socialist party's return to power, meets with small business
owners in Tulle market. Complete with an austere agenda
and a name that American's are sure to hate, he'll be
leaning on Tin Cup style wisdom.

Jiro, Baseball, and Restrepo are war movies. The extent to which dosages of war are apporitioned in each varies. However, be it on a pristine, just wiped down, sushi [home] plate or a machine gun turret aimed at shadows, the impact of heaping servings of war is astounding. Not awesome, just astounding. And that's the point.

Jiro made its way to movie theaters and out of the mushy indie doc world because it is minimalist, shouts out to genre top dogs, enhances thoughts with thinker's music, and insinuates several really good questions sans behind-camera-narration. Insinuated question one: what is a good life? See. Good question. Jiro knows the answer and by way of convictions and nearly flawless attendance, PW style, he makes you wonder if he's on to something. That's why there is a documentary about him. Rick Warren claims to know the answer as well. That's why he is overweight, a millionaire, pro-war and still a pastor. It's a compelling story, this one.

Japan's snowboard team before the olympics. Kokubo
center, was fined for not being Jiro enough--he didn't
tie his tie correctly. Notably, Kokubo refuses to alter
his series of tricks in competitions though he rarely wins.
He claims that his tricks are cooler than Shawn White's
so he "stays the course."

Jiro and his staff. His two sons immediately behind him.
His younger son was forced to open his own restaurant
while his oldest son (third from right is Jiro's apprentice;
he is in his 50s.

Jiro has pursued perfect sushi for 83 years. He works harder than every other sushi chef in the world. He demands complete surrender of himself and his employees. His restaurant is open six days out of seven. It is the only sushi restaurant in the world to receive three Michelin Stars. He is very Japanese, as the stereotypes would have us believe, and has not wavered but for two notable happenings and potentially, for a third. Happening number one: smoking almost killed him, had to spend some time in the hospital. Happening (potentially) number two: there is not going to be any fishes because we have over fished our oceans. The "California Roll" is supposedly the culprit. Happening number three: there was a great war. 

Ken Burns has 'an effect' named for him. His documentaries
are long and encompassing--a throwback to a generation
gone-by. His throwing form should not be used to
measure or pass judgement on his abilities to piece
together a throw-back documentary.

In this war, Japan attacked the United States, 
contributed to genocide, had a culture altering bomb dropped on their homeland. Whoa. From sushi to atomic bombs. Insinuated question two: what does a good life mean for one that works diligently in a post WWII Japan? (This is also a really good question.) Were this movie able to sidestep historical realities it would be less interesting. Many work diligently in utopia. We work diligently, though, in a society that for some terrible reasons, goes to war. One can't stop wondering, after seeing this really good documentary, firstly, what the hell has Jiro's wife been up to all this time? Secondly, how much of a response to WWII is the work ethic of Japan's 'Greatest Generation'? In another way, what's next for Japanese culture? Jiro dedication mashed-up with post-Nirvana expectations could be interesting. For real, check out their snowboard team and be inspired. Most of all though, keep your eye on David Gelb. This anti-war documentary has mostl likely catapulted him into Weinstein's office/palace and onto Red carpets.

In the last 20 years there has been a 218
percent increase in latino players in MLB.

Baseball is a little more overt than Jiro. It's a war movie and does little to hide the fact. What tips the viewer off to Ken Burn's Mel Gibsonesque aspirations is the trifurcated storyboard. Baseball before War and baseball after War and then baseball before War and then baseball after War and then baseball before War and then baseball after War. Luckily, for Ken Burn's sake, though he does get off on being exhaustive, we've managed to snuggle baseball close enough to corporate television contracts to keep it from going anywhere--come hell or high water. Though, I'm not sure MLB, ESPN, FOX and Obama are prepared for what would happen to professional baseball if a Hispanic/Latin country goes to war. Ken Burn's would have to leg-out this doc into a twelfth inning, I'd imagine.

A catcher/soldier trying-out for the Army
baseball team and embodying two things
that our nation does really well--war and baseball.

The point is that our nation loves two things: baseball and war. Burns, having spent most of his life with librarian archive specialists, weaves the two together with haggard footage of Babe Ruth "touching them all" and soft overtones of rich white men's quotes about the necessity of each, baseball and war. Leaving the Ken Burn's Effect aside, the viewer is left with a sour taste followed promptly be sweet nostalgia--Sour Patch Kid-like. "Ah, the days when baseball players, men paid little to make much for those at the top, were forced to go to war. That's when we knew what this country stood for." The identity inducing elements of America's pastime, war and baseball, in this documentary, opined on by Ken Burns, put this movie on the McArthy must-watch list.

A member of Second Platoon meeting with citizens of
the most dangerous place on earth, a valley in Afghanistan
home to Taliban (Rebels, Insurgents, Terrorists and
Monsters). Some of the most striking scenes in the
movie show the weekly meetings of Second Platoon's
leadership with village elders. The culture clash could
only be enhanced if the Sergeant were to hand out
California Rolls before explaining the rules of baseball.

Restrepo does nothing to hide from war genre epics. Complete with bullets, tattoos, hero sentiments, and a lack of remorse, Sebastian Junger and Tim Hetherington put the anti-war movement in the throes of real war. They bravely dig-in with the Second Platoon in one of the most crucial valleys in Afghanistan as the soldiers labor and shoot and labor and shoot. One of the most gripping and unsettling war movies ever made. In the first place, it makes one question Ken Burn's platform--all cozy and acoustically perfect. In the second place, it does well to usher forward the most pertinent question we should be asking, "What the hell are we doing there?!?!" I wonder if Jiro asked a similar question. Especially if he was stationed on Iwo Jima. Did he dream of sushi on that god forsaken island like the Second Platoon dreamed of cheeseburgers in that godforsaken valley? Maybe. Either way, Junger and Hetherington do not let up on a mission set in motion by anti-war documentarians before them. David Gelb, Ken Burns, Sebastian Junger and Tim Hetherington adhere to one theme: war dominates, sadly.